EMDR Exercise

An activity to help you look a little more into what you believe about yourself, the world and why

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) is an eight step process. However, the time spent in each of those eight steps is subject to change.

Recently, I told my therapists that I felt ready to move on to reprocessing after spending about seven months of preparation and talk therapy. She told me that it would be really helpful if I created a list of memories & beliefs (referred to as ‘targets’) for us to work though, grouping by themes. So, I created a google spreadsheet with several different columns to function as the list of ‘themes’ (for example, self image, “the box” trauma, certain people, etc.) Then, I started listing correlating memories beneath them and the belief that went along with that memory. In conjunction with that, I also identified any imagery that stuck out to me when playing those memories back, as well as how true on a scale of 1 to 10 the belief I listed felt.

For a really long time, I didn’t think of my struggles with depression or anxiety (among other things) had any clear origins. Instead, I thought I was the problem–I was the thing that was broken. I haven’t gotten to the point in therapy where my sense of self is rectified–in fact, right now I feel like we’re still in the process of deconstructing myself–but the idea that I’m inherently the problem has been challenged. To recite a quote I saw somewhere online but now can’t remember where: “We shouldn’t be asking ‘What’s wrong with me?’ but rather ‘What happened to me?’”

I think this exercise–regardless of whether or not you’re in EMDR–can be a good way to take a step back and start to recontextualize our beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. Being able to look at something and go, “Yes, this may be my responsibility to heal, but this belief isn’t my fault” can be a really liberating shift.

The next two slides are examples I created based off the events in “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving”. When looking inwards, it can be a bit overwhelming and likely hard to find a place to start.

For me, it was easier to identify memories, beliefs and feelings separately and put the puzzle together afterwards. A few weeks prior, I had made a list of negative beliefs I had and that served as my launch pad. For example, I’ve had a persistent struggle with trying to better myself because I feel embarrassed doing it. I was able to put this into words as a belief as “Trying to better yourself is stupid/futile.” I was eventually able to tie it to a painful memory in my childhood when I saw someone put a significant person in my life down and the subsequent shame and pain it caused.

Perhaps it’s not the only contributing experience to this belief, but it was a big start! (see slides 5 & 6 for a Thanksgiving inspired example)